Get Soul'd
Welcome to
with Sue Read
Welcome to Sue Read Designs
photo by Rick
The one thing that kept me going through the hardships of life was and is art. I began what I could do naturally beginning at 18 and created S.Read Designs. I was doing photography, designing fashions, in hopes of going to Traphagen in NYC, when that failed to materialize, I produced a show, worked on my art, did a modeling stunt, and did some art jobs. The short version; after doing some private modeling I was abducted to Florida, impregnated, hospitalized, flew back to CT and a custody battle ensued and the whole trajectory of my life changed. When things settled a little, I kept trying to create, and live as an artitst.
I began working with a marketing firm that led to some logos and art still in use today, from the 90's. At the time I was in subsidized housing and on food stamps when I discovered my mayonnaise label art & concept made it to publication but I was not paid and bought it with food stamps. Then another huge life setback and illness, pregnancy and loss ensued.
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To help my partner, and our long term retirement goals I became a Realtor, and managed as many as 18 units at one time, and adopted a community where we would live and bought rental properties. It was after he went through his own losses in business and a job we decided real estate has to offer some security. I used my art for the community that was destroyed and forgotten by the town. I designed the logo for the area that is still in use today. I had many setbacks here, I held many committee positions, to help make it better to raise our kids, instead I was met with renter hostility, loss, name calling, harassment and an assault that still carries damage today. I could not live on my earnings as I was dealing with something I did not understand then. I had CPTSD from trauma, then diagnosed with a number of things including ADHD, bi-polar, etc. That explained a lot. I could not work 8 hours a day, sometimes not at all so real estate provided a shield from the world seeing my truth and my deepest fears I didn't understand then.
Sue Read Designs was the eventual next incarnation of my art when I was able to have a small shop in which I could paint furniture, sell art, create custom art gifts for people, design and apply that to print on demand fabrics in 2014 with Spoonflower. It was so exciting.
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Creativity and art has been the thread that kept me connected to life outside of my intuitive spiritual connection--creativity being an extension of our Creator. However the theme is that I have never been able to live my passion. The thing that made me feel alive and invincible. I had still too much to dig through in my trauma life in order to reset boundries, confidence, a presence in the world. Many things hindered my ability to just do as other people--focus on one thing, follow through and achieve. Art made me feel I belonged somewhere even if I was a creative wild child and unable to discipline in one thing due to the effects of CPTSD, ADHD, shutdowns, depression, mood swings, impulsiveness, a bit of crazy at times.
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all images copyrighted
Whenever I've reached a point in my life things have seemed insurmountable and dreams unattainable and life intolerable --it was either give up or reach deeper. Art or Spirit.
Some bouts of creativity were solely to keep me out of trouble once I reached a tipping point. Other times I was really trying to make a life from my artwork and creative projects. But there was too much for me to untangle and nothing back then I could stick to as one modality to make a living from. I could not afford school as I was barely getting by with new babies and a legal battle for custody for the first child. Prior to that I was driven and focused but had no support, few life skills from my childhood abuse. Long story.
I suffered from many mind-body obstacles - a list so long it surprises me that I am here now--perhaps out of sheer stubbornness to see how the story ends or raw faith and wanting to see my artwork and creativity finally provide the independence I was never able to achieve.
​​Because I could not focus for many reasons my art was all over the place. I did begin at 18 trying to work as S Read Designs for a marketing company, but I also got taken advantage of as well. The mayonnaise label I had designed and pitched I later found they used it, when in a grocery store I discovered it and bought with food stamps --that brought me to tears. The relationship had ended with this firm on a sour note. All lessons I had to learn about protecting my own interests. But if I could not do it for my "person" how would I manage professionally? Years of struggle and painful lessons.
It didn't get any easier no matter what I did I could see anything through to completion. I would create opportunities then sabotage them in a state of unworthiness.
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My mind and body would malfunction regularly as a result of adrenal burnout, PMS, lack of progesterone and mood disorders. Then thyroid failure. And now a new issue ASD as of this year 2023
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ADHD was discovered later on and was a piece of the puzzle. I was incorrectly diagnosed with bi-polar, but for years I suffered with those symptoms to until I found bio-identical hormones much later.
I had no idea at first where or how to begin untangling the inner mess. It was all overwhelming and constant stress and anxiety. Nothing felt right except designing and manifesting something from my right brain...and picking myself off the ground with color, and creative fantasies. When I felt so dark I wanted to end things, I would be gifted a wave of creative energies from beyond to keep me here.
I was in a damning loop of failure everyday. The kids forced me to stay grounded and the art applied for different reasons kept me dreaming of one day making my art sustainable for me.
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I looked at myself as kind of wild child artistically, as a person very insecure from my childhood. I was unable to sit down long enough to learn a skill or make any money to funnel into what I needed to grow a career. I was always just surviving. My art at the time felt worthless because I equated self worth to making a regular paycheck which I was not capable of for many years to come.
I was that damaged. But I faked being what everyone wanted me to be as part of the survival mechanism, but no one valued my art or dreams as I did. In my area fashion designers or making a living from art wasn't the norm.
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Today I look back and see perhaps that was the soul's plan. With the potent mixture of a poor self image and no confidence complicated by mind/body/abuse issues I could not survive on my own. Bit by bit i have had to become self aware and face a multidimensional view of my life before 52. I am starting over as an artist and spiritual Youtube personality sharing the spiritual and artistic parts of my survival at 57.
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MY first professionally
sewn design in 1983
At 18 I wanted be a fashion designerand go to Traphagen in NYC in 1983. It was in the blood with my great aunt in France sewing and selling her designs during WWII to those with money. And I sat by mothers side as her sewing machine whirred in the night sewing. As it happened mom went to school with Betsy Johnson. The 2 right side designs below were fabricated in 1984 along with one other design not shown here.
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Fun fact Betsy Johnson through her sister
had given me a bottle of her perfume at my moms class reunion. Betsy Johnson is the sister of Sally whom my mom also went to school with.
