First Photographers

This page is about the health and well being of our bodies. It's not a terribly glamorous topic but when your body doesn't work like it should and you are sick, overweight, lethargic, in pain, listless, depressed, live with chronic conditions that are eroding your ability to live a simple, happy productive life It's doesn't have to be glamorous. Learning to self heal has been a 25 year ordeal for me personally and I'm not done yet. Only desperation led me to begin looking for answers and try to start with one illness first. Because I had been hating myself so much I gave no attention to my body with true self care that I was beginning to break down in my 30's. 

 care been a huge lesson for me in learning to take control and care for a body I felt was not mine in my youth and that was despised by me 24/7 for not being this or that. It was like a recording that playing non stop in my mind that I felt powerless to stop. I tried but had so many blocks and so many wires crossed.

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What I will share on this page is nothing new, it's not groundbreaking science or some Divinely downloaded miracle solution or a one size fits all informational blurb. Sadly, it's been a lonely, frustrating, wanna give up every other day, can't, won't, cry, get mad, shut down, obsessively research and information exhaustion,  regroup, start again and again kind of journey. I have learned natural healing is the only way to truly integrate both mental and physical wellness as much as can be done for the life we've been given. And I had to learn it takes longer than popping a pill that masks symptoms as is the "norm" in the world, however that is changing as I write this.

 

Disclaimer- I am not medical professional, I am not advising, treating or offering anyone any health cures, therapy, or remedies so please see your medical professionals and those you trust to guide you. 

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My father allowed me to learn with him using natural healing methods and herbs in his last year of life not that I knew that then however. The mission would continue to push every last nerve. It's about all that I learned about the ability I actually did have to heal my own body, and what steps and processes, research and testing but equally as important I had to learn root causes of ailments and dis-orders and heal both body and mind. 

Of course I don't have all the answers, and I do not have a medical degree but I learned you don't need one to heal YOURSELF as yourself if you find the right tools, which is a journey of self love, getting back to nature and trusting your God and the body he gave you.

 

The metaphysical combines a mind body approach I had heard of with Louise Hay's teaching in my 40's but I wasn't ready until my dad let me see on his body how herbs would work for example. I did not know this then--it was not a calm, experiment, no it was an all out war against the medical establishment who wanted him dead against a determined daughter who would not let them kill him. I cannot go into the long story here. But it is a well documented account of severe neglect causing my father to nearly die several times, never walk again, and later never eat solids again. The things they did to him, made me give up my life for the duration of his. But the education I received that I later carried into healing my own life was a gift he gave me for all the pain we shared in this lifetime.  

 

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I am not an expert in the complexities of how all of the body works so let me say that straight out, however though the nightmare I went through with my dad, I researched like hell every night while he was in institutional care to counter attack the neglect he suffered daily which did immediately injure his systems, and almost kill him three times in their professional care.

So I had to learn what I could as fast as I could to preserve what was left of his life and wishes to be at his home. Many said "walk away", but if I had, I would never taken the journey to healing my own hyperthyroidism disease, or continue the journey to finding answers to my other debilitating issues I still had to work on. Self healing became a passion, maybe even an obsession because it seemed to come from deep within past lives where I knew I was a medicine woman, and healer. It seemed more important to find the truth, than accept potential powerlessness. 

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  When I defaulted as my dad's sole care giver and proxy that is when the travesty of our health care system became evident in elder care. In my dad's case it was extreme on every front. In fact I always figured when I was far enough away from this mentally and physically draining and exhaustive battle I fought with institutional care, as well as his own fears of mortality and the spiritual view he held of being punished and going to "hell" I would write a memoire on all that took place. I have heard others have some of these experiences with their loved ones, and I am seeing it with others I know. 

 

  I will just summarize here and begin with this. My father crashed his car and intuitively I knew he would not embrace being dependence on anyone if he could not get his license back. Neither driver was hurt thank God. I began as his health care proxy, going over his meds, records, taking him to his doctor appointments when I noticed his doctor of like 30 years was complacent in dad's care. Leaving him on outdated meds lawsuit meds which I later proved caused harm during his the "ordeal" that began with a simple ER visit, not doing any testing or inquiry as to how he was doing. I changed  docs shortly after researching his current meds list. , got him off these meds, as he had lost weight and cleaned up his issues, so we went organic and holistic in his care, this new doctor was very supportive. 

 

 

I was worried one night checking on him, so I called the doc, she wasn't worried said give it time and it was my decision. But I was nervous, he was in my care. So I took him to what was to be a quick ER visit for slight edema from him sitting most of day, I had just began a home care schedule. The quick version is that my father wound up unable to walk, and with neurological damage within 3 days of being admitted--but they were not talking to me, I couldn't get a doctor, I was getting a cold so I would come up at night to see him until I was shocked at his immediate degradation.

I began researching daily, on elder care in institutional care,  new symptoms he developed nothing made sense and it was only me. I had to find out what happened where he now couldn't talk, feed himself, I discovered his menu was sugar, carbs, no protein, then I found they were dosing him with insulin- which he had never been on, just junk food and liquids he could not drink alone, which I found left in front of him mostly untouched- he could not hold a fork, he could not talk.  I later learned he had gone into delirium which I was to be avoided at all costs by researching and confirmation later by a foreign doctor at another hospital months later as I explained what happened to him.  He was put on the old meds that I just got him off of. The list goes on what I discovered daily until they nearly killed him, and I had to threaten with his attorney to get him out.

The next day, I was  given apologies, a new case worker and physical therapy only after my daughter and I saved him from choking to death from what I learned was an insulin coma--The girl was taking his vitals as his heart rate dropped and he turned blue-she did nothing as a hollered for help, my daughter jumped across the bed and we intuitively worked together to bring him back. He was awakening from the coma and choking on a mucous ball. I thought he was dying and called relatives in, no one would take to me and it was day 5. I was in shock because I had never seen anything like this and was unprepared to deal with the aftermath but I had no choice.

 I had no idea what was happening or why for such a simple visit- a dose of lasik's is what his new doc and I expected then released. Not what did happen to render him unable to ever walk again, he was put on a catheter immediately, denied nutrients, fluids, probiotics, dangerous meds, a list of "automatic protocol" elderly meds and devices so they did not have to get him up within that first 3 days.  I did not know what was supposed to be the "norm" but this was anything but that.

 

I learned elder lose 2% of their muscle mass every day they are in institutional care. They give antibiotics but do not rebuild the immune system. They do not ensure enough fluids go in, instead they give constipation meds to further deplete the system of fluid thus minerals. They place their heads in front of an electrical panel which can easily cause delirium- messing up the neurological system as the elderly have weaker neurons and more than likely metal toxicity from a lifetime of metal build up. Two drugs he was one, that I got him off of did cause physical harm, one caused malabsorption issues as the med was sued over for causing intestinal decay, this was confirmed by a doctor at another different hospital.  

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After this visit the whole journey kept playing on repeat. It became battle after exhaustive, painful, battle with institutional caregivers and doctors contradicting, omitting, misdiagnosing, re-dosing his cancelled lawsuit meds, neglecting and depriving him basic care. When I would say something I was treated with cold answers or none at all- I was the bitch. In a nursing home for rehab he was put in the death wing after he returned from and ER visit for a UTI.  Later on when I was able to get him home there were still incidents - a masonic nurse put his bag in wrong which now he could not be without and nearly made him bleed out and required a trip to the ER, which was a horrific ordeal as they kept putting in the wrong size tube until he screamed and pulled it out spraying the room with blood. I felt helpless and useless but I was fighting his battles everyday, even after my mom unexpectedly died was revived and died after I got there...

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But back at the first hospital I researched nightly and fought with a legal threat to get him out of there after too may incidents of neglect and degradation. That 5th day he nearly choked to death after  nearly dying of an insulin overdose which he was never on and never needed --they fed him sugar then shot him up so they would not have to get him up so he slept. I didn't know that at the time. He was denied physical therapy admittedly because they were short staffed and he was too tall to handle. This was the beginning of a very long education in herbal vs big pharm meds vs institutional care, and I eventually proved my case in holistics and herbs months down the road when a doctor saw my dad come in for the catheter incident looking "on his way out" when his bloodwork showed very different results. The bloodwork was perfect. He asked what I was doing and I told him what regiment of herbs, foods, and nutrients he was on. He said he had to show his colleagues - he said" just keep doing it. " 

 

But the nightmare went on, institutional care facility one after another until I got him home, and then it was the homecare providers that challenged us. There were some exceptional caregivers but they didn't last -they would quit the company for hours, pay etc. On the other side they said my dad was too hard to care for, wouldn't show up or would lock him in his room as he howled. So I wound up having 2 care companies, and one employee, a family friend who towed the line with laughter and stuck to my protocol for dad. But by now I had discovered through a visit to his urologist he had gotten MRSA months ago from a nursing home no one informed me about, they said it was a UTI, so he could not come back. I was already giving him mannose and she was pleased with that because they also use it, but I had no idea about the MRSA. That ER visit cost him the ability to eat normal food, he as nearly died during that visit - and I was there to see to witness it but did not know yet what was happening  but the doctor said he could have brain damage.  But dad fought too, barely making it through this one but now I had to grind everything and add powder to liquids they called it dysplasia.

Though I had the help I had to stay close no matter what. I filled in for 12 hour shift no shows, ran for medical and home supplies, groceries, nursing visits, paperwork, bill paying, health logs I kept, it was a 24 hour job.  My own health was now lagging after months of stress, and I was losing my hair and weight. Months of intensity; grueling battles, documentation, research, fighting with staff and administrators, make them hydrate him properly, give him immune support, proper nutrition, movement to oxidate the cells and provide outside visits. And I was there every day I could be outside of my life before all this.